Add the green split peas and water to a large pot.
Chop the onion, parsnips, and garlic, and add them to the pot. Cover and bring to a simmer.
Chop the cabbage and kale, then add the leafy greens to the simmering pottage and stir.
Tear the stale bread into pieces and add it to the pot along with the oats to help thicken the stew.
Season with salt to taste and continue to simmer until the vegetables are tender and the pottage reaches a thick consistency.
Serve the pottage hot with extra bread, slices of sharp cheddar cheese, and a mug of ale.
Cook it hands-free.
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